Rant Ant:
“I’m telling you, Biter… the barrier wasn’t like this last week. I used to zoom right up to the kitchen window, drop in for some overripe banana, maybe a sip of spilled soda. Now? Now it’s like running into an invisible field of doom.”
Biter the Spider:
“You’re telling me. I tried my normal sneaky route over by the flower bed—wham! One sniff of that stuff and my legs said, ‘Nope, not today, buddy.’ It’s like they put up a forcefield around the whole place.”
Rant:
“Yeah. Genuine Pest Control, they called it. Sprayed some ‘30-foot insect barrier.’ Thirty feet! Do you know how far that is in bug miles? That’s like… a marathon. I’m not built for cardio, man.”
Biter:
“And it’s not just the size—it’s everywhere. Grass, gravel, mulch, you name it. Even the cracks in the sidewalk smell like chemical heartbreak. I had to turn back halfway, and you know how rarely I admit defeat.”
Rant:
“Same here. I tried going over the fence, thinking maybe the barrier wouldn’t reach. Nope. It’s like they measured, mapped, and sprayed every possible entry point. Honestly, I’m impressed. And a little offended…”
Biter:
“So what now? Give up and find another house?”
Rant:
“I guess so. Either that or wait 60 days and pray the humans forget to call them again. But knowing these folks? Not gonna happen.”
Biter:
Sigh “Well, come on. Let’s go find a yard that smells less… professional.”