Dear Lawrence Family, this is Reginald Rat, I know we have not been on the best terms, considering you tried to kill me and or my family members by setting traps all around. But did you have to call a pest professional. I think their uniforms said something about Genuine Pest Control. I think they spoke up an attic clean up? Whatever!!
Anyway, these guys had to kill a lot of members of our family, keep us from coming back in and clean up our messes. Now since we don’t have a guide to your location. I mean, we can’t find where it is, considering we travel by scent, hence why we leave urine or poop around. Since those losers cleaned it up, we don’t know where you currently reside. Luckily I have an insider to drop off this letter.
I hope you come to your senses one day and let us come back. I mean we will be a little more discrete this time. Well, I can’t speak about all of us. Roger, sometimes can be a little wild sometime. I least I can say he throws a great party.
Anyway, I want to sincerely congratulate you on the attic clean up. Please take in to a count that I actually being genuine about that… No pun intended. For anyone else reading this note, please avoid the link below. It is a nightmare to us rats, and we don’t appreciate their services!!!!!!!